It has been about 2 months since the whole miscarriage mishap. We tried again right after, but no luck. We aren’t discouraged, rather, we have been more positive about it happening. The thought of us being parents keeps us going. Jake has been my rock throughout all of this and I am thankful for him. Two years in and he still amazes me with his love and patience.
I don’t mind.
Hello out there, come find me
I am lost inside my mind
My world is not here anymore
Fly away, Remember not to look down
Eventually, I will be gone
My feathers touching the clouds
But my heart will always be
Right where you left it
Tower
Here I am today.
Alive and breathing.
Hard and soft.
Loving and walled
Away from people,
The beautiful repunzel
transparent but no
One will know me.
A flow of thoughts
I am alone.
I perch high on the tree
and I watch the world work around me.
Constantly looking up and admiring me,
but always hesitant to let me fly over them.
I am alone.
I see the sky.
I look and I feel the surge of the galaxy,
swirls of life,
Ebb and flow,
I feel it live, and I take it in,
I see the sky.
I have grown old.
My heart is weathered,
beaten and battered.
I find myself losing to an unending battle.
I would very much like to
share my heartbeat again,
I have grown old.
look right through me.
A scream would be more descriptive of how I feel, rather than words.
Or maybe just opening my mouth and the breath that would sink and rise again would carry my story.
My song. My heart.
My head doesn’t falter, my thoughts are endless. My eyes, blinded with wonder, searching..and always searching.
It appears that I’m here with no excuses,
Unapologetic and full of pride
Mind wide and eyes open
the wolf.
the shadow of my wings over trees,
(on my way to you) has gotten larger.
i’m getting closer.
give me your eyes, your focus, your love. I’ll give you mine.
tangle me in fur and teeth.
i crave the impact of our collision.
i see you, mighty wolf with big eyes that are
windows to your soul.
i see you.
soda pop and ridalin.
one by one, i’ll lose them all
well, if i’m not here,
then where am i?
the weight gets heavier and releases
ice-cold fear in my chest
if i’m not who i am then change me
i’m tired of fighting and losing battles
the war’s not even over
fix my life , tape together the pieces
my hopes and dreams have become
bitter and dusty;
i have slept a great deal of my life,
i’m watching it waste away
i think i’m dumb.
(take a moment to sort things out)
tears confirm what i’m trying to hide
a fallback drawn out to
a lifetime of repeated failures
(everything i have is lost)
and i’m found on my knees
scraping together for change
smoke trailing through my fingers-
where am i?
should i quit now or should i have
a long time ago?
My Reflection on God.
an escape, momentary and relieving
i can breathe and feel peace again.
everything around me is meaningless
in search of intimacy, i’m found
wanting more than this universe,
this cosmological creation can give me.
sustain me with Yourself-be my air
and complete me with Your pieces
blow wind through my hair and
swing me around, i want to laugh with You.
be my next direction, my sunlight, my purpose.
i love You.
my blog. 